Vinculum
From SuspireWiki
The Blood Bond.
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First Person Description
A first person description of the bond taken from The Blood (pg 64-66)
Level 1
I still can’t believe that I did it. I had never given him a second glance before, and why would I? In my six years since my Embrace I made a point of keeping my privacy and staying out of the Danse Macabre as much as possible. So why on earth would I cozy up to him, the Master of Elysium’s right-hand man? I can’t stand those harpies, but here I am, chatting like a teenager about things I have not talked about to anyone before. About mom’s accident, about the time I nearly saw the sunrise and about that woman I killed last winter. OMG! I can’t believe I told him that. I don’t know what happened, but it just seemed so easy to talk to him. I guess I needed to. So I did and then, just like that, there it was. I didn’t even see him do it, but all of a sudden I realize that his neck is bleeding, and he gently pulls my head to him. I really can’t believe I did it, I just can’t. I’ve heard so many stories, but it just seemed so right at the time.
It was amazing. Really. I mean, I don’t think sex was ever that good. His blood made my usual supper seem like a bologna sandwich by comparison. It was so thick, so unbelievably sweet, but it also burned like a shot of 151 or something. I was light-headed for at least a few minutes, ‘cause I didn’t even notice stopping. He pushed me away, but so gently, and I just focused on his eyes, at how deep and dark they were, and how perfectly clear, like I could see things I never dreamed before. It was like we really knew each other, even though he really didn’t say much about himself, but it didn’t matter. What happened that night was so incredible, it doesn’t seem real. I kept on thinking about him, again and again. It was sort of like when a guy at a bar started talking to me, a guy I really didn’t find attractive, but then later, after a few drinks, I realize this guy is so hot on some weird level and the next thing I know I’m making out with him. I don’t know why, but it’s just one of those things. Wow.
Level 2
What am I doing? Am I crazy or what? I really didn’t think I’d ever do it again, and certainly not with him, but there you go. I did it. Truth is, it was even more amazing than the first time. I bumped into him in Seraph’s club. Okay, I didn’t really bump into him. I mean, yeah, I was hoping he might be there. But honestly, I didn’t think I’d do anything; just check him out, see who he’s with, maybe say “hi” or something. That’s it. I figured that even if I did want more he’d just laugh at me anyway, if not openly, at least in a way that made it clear that I was pretty much out of my league. But he didn’t. He took me aside and actually surprised me when he asked if I wanted to go somewhere else with him. I don’t even remember what I said, but before I knew it we were in his place. I don’t know how he manages it, but he’s got a view of downtown and the river that I would literally kill for. And the art . . . damn. The guy has taste, I’ll give him that. He’s no simple poser, that’s for sure.
Then it happened, without prelude, which I realized later only made it that much more erotic. He leaned against the window and pulled me to him so that as I drank my eyes were fixed on the rain blurring the city lights beyond. It was so surreal, so absolutely perfect, as if he knew my every thought and understood what would move me and enflame my soul. Damn, I’m still trembling just thinking about that moment when the rush of Vitae filled my thirsty mouth, as my tongue swam in his fiery essence, as he fed my soul with his most precious of gifts. Drunk, high, sexually aroused, no, but something far better. He gave himself to me in a way that no one living can, and he did it completely, selflessly, trusting me to take only enough. I didn’t even want to wake up the next night because even that seemed like a vulgar waste of his Vitae. I wanted to keep it all inside, every drop he allowed me to have, and hold onto it forever. What does it mean now? Will he see me again? Will he want my own blood? Are we lovers? Argh! This is so stupid. Stop it, stop it, stop it. I have to let him decide, give him space, see what happens. But it’s driving me crazy I don’t know if I can wait for him to decide. I don’t know.
Level 3
I once believed I knew what love was. I thought I knew it with Jason, and later with Alex. God, I was so wrong. Last night I finally realized that. Maybe what I did was stupid, maybe some night I’ll regret what happened, but right now it seems like the most perfect thing of all. In some ways it’s like seeing the sun rise again, but instead of a burning agony I feel a burning energy that makes even the smallest thing seem better. I stayed away from him for so long. It took every ounce of my will, but I did, I gave him his space and didn’t embarrass him in front of his coterie. But after all the shit that happened in the past few days, I didn’t know what else to do. If I didn’t talk to someone I was going to go mad, and of all the Kindred he knows me best, even if our time together has been so fleeting. I knew he understood me, and I knew he would see me.
He didn’t judge my actions or their consequences, but just listened and then calmed me down, saying he’d make sure things would be okay. He made a few quick phone calls and assured me that there would be nothing to worry about. I would have done anything for him then, anything, he so saved my ass. I probably looked like shit and I know he realized how hungry I was, but he didn’t pressure me. He just asked me if he could help, and without words he saw the answer in my pleading eyes. I don’t really know how to describe it. The taste was the same, but the way he held me, the way he stroked my dirty hair, the way he moaned as I drank long and deep, was more exciting than anything I have ever known or could imagine. I felt things that I will never fully understand, but I know they were real, and still are.
Last night he gave himself to me, completely, this ancilla placed his Requiem in my trembling, fragile hands, and showed me the real meaning of love. There is no turning back now. My heart is his as surely as the sun will rise and set. We are bound until the last night as nothing else can bind us, his Vitae nourishing me on every conceivable level and providing a salve against the worst of the Danse Macabre. One night he will wish for my Vitae, too, and he will find no resistance, no hesitation. It is his to take and command, forever, whatever may come. Last night I found love, and tonight and every night forward my love will be my armor, my shield and my sword, the taste of his blood always on my lips. I love you, and I know you love me, too.