A Spark of Unlife

Herstory

Waking up sucks, taking the big nap sucks even worse though especially with the splinter so I'm glad I'm awake. It was crazy... there's blood blood blood pain and more pain and I'm caught up in dream and then I'm awake, but maybe I'm not because there's blood, but this time it's warm and it soothes me but there's still so much pain.

I heal and walk through the park. It's familiar but not really. Everything is familiar but not really. I keep expecting to get sucked under by a wave of cold blood but I'm awake now so that isn't going to happen. How did I get here? I remember Chandra, I remember looking for Chandra... where is she?

I walk through Baby Docks to North Row. I'm not really sure where it is that I'm going but I let myself walk, shifting through memories. Carthian Movement... Daeva... Kindred.. Words come back to me like clouds. I grab onto them and figure out what they mean. I remember.

I find myself standing in front of a padlocked grate in an alley way. I'm not sure what's here but here is where I was walking to so I dig my hand in my pocket for the keys that are there and I kneel down and start trying keys. One of them works so I pull open the door and climb down. Everything is rote. I close the door on top of me, replacing the padlock on the underside and then walk down the steps. There's another door, another key to open it and when I walk inside I flip a switch that I know is going to work. It does and I'm home and the Beast is content.

I have things here and they give me clues and make concrete out of the clouds. I didn't keep a journal so I'm not really sure how much of what I think I know is real or if it's just torpor dream, I kind of hope it's just a dream because otherwise, my life really sucked. I spend two nights looking over my shit, listening to music and catching up on what I am.

I take a shower and change my clothes and go out again I grab a bite to eat from a source that's still good and head back home. I slip into the corner store and smile as the familiar jingle of the door when it opens. There's newspapers on a rack with some magazines. I pick up the Carcosa Journal. It's December 10th, 2009.

Shit. I've been out for a long time. Time to reacquaint myself with society.