James

From SuspireWiki

James Roach is a man of many talents. At least that's what he tells people. In reality, the dude spends most of his time in his living room, and squanders what little talent he possesses at video games playing stupid korean 2D MMORPGS and IRC-based vampire games.

One little-known fact about James is that he doesnt shower. At least not by his own volition. I kid you not. I was over there the other night, and his wife was like "James, dont forget to take a shower while i'm away. You better be clean when i get home." His wife seems to have low standards for his cleanliness, but even she draws a line when it drags into the weeks of uncleanliness. That line is usually drawn in the dirt of his chest, but the point is moot: dude is stanky.

Other then that, he plays the bass and likes to have a play style that consists entirely of exclamation points and Russians. One time, he was quoted as typing "!!!!!Stalin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". He was then thoroughly sodomized by Homeland Security. Turns out their cavity searches arent as gentle as television leads you to believe.

And James truly is the master of things in his cavities. I mean, seriously, you wanna ask someone what fits? Go not to goatse.cks, but instead thrust your queries upon James. And i mean that in the least heterosexual way possible.

You should ask him about the guy with 2 cocks, too.

He also discovered Triphalia on the internet. I shit you not. He probably still has the picture. It will freak you the fuck out.

Also: He needs to shower.