From SuspireWiki

20/20

I remember the day. The sun filtered in through the french doors to the garden. The flowers had just come into bloom, spring was in the air and life was beginning to emerge from a long winter's rest. I stared out through the panes of glass, one hand idly rubbing my swollen belly, and I wished I had the courage to go get a coathanger. If I had any common sense I would have done it before Michael was born, but I was deluded by the dreams of motherhood. This one, though, was still within my grasp. Maybe I could just drown them in the bathtub, I'm sure I could make it seem like an accident. I dropped by my hand down from the physical manifestation of my affliction and picked up a copy of Macbeth. I flipped to the page that I had read so many times before:

"How tender 'tis to love the babe that milks me:
I would, while it was smiling in my face,
Have pluck'd my nipple from his boneless gums,
And dash'd the brains out, had I so sworn as you
Have done to this."
(Macbeth I.VII.61-65)

If only I had the courage, maybe I was a coward then.

You know what they say, hindsight is 20/20.